Tuesday, July 15, 2008

We were wondering about that...

Everyone's wondering what, exactly, has been causing global warming.

Some have said it is that there are now more MPs in the House of Commons than at any other time in British history. But this localised theory has been scoffed at by those who point out that at the same time, there are fewer and fewer Frenchmen around every year.

It's a mystery.

But now, the Optimum Population Trust has the solution, as Mr. Feschuk points out in Maclean's this week.

But now comes a voice of reason. Now comes the Optimum Population Trust, a British group with the courage to confront the real menace in the fight against global warming — tiny, little babies.

That's right: babies. Don't be fooled by their soft skin and angelic demeanour: cute, adorable babies are destroying the earth!

Straight from the womb, infants are an environmental menace. Almost immediately they begin to engage in profoundly selfish and destructive behaviour, such as exhaling. Plus, the Optimum Population Trust has uncovered shocking evidence that some of these so-called "babies" eventually grow larger and go on in life to do irresponsible things like drink water or exist.


Anonymous said...

Or we could just execute the entire membership of the OPT. Kill two birds with one stone.

Amy said...

If you go to OPT's website, it says "Get the facts straight: OPT doesn't support coercion in family planning."

Yeah. Right.

And I'm the Queen of England.