Tuesday, July 08, 2008

The Hippies were Liars and Lunatics

I KNEW it!

The type of toasted bread we eat for breakfast
can affect how the body responds to lunch, a researcher at the University of Guelph has discovered.

Prof. Terry Graham, a scientist who specializes in carbohydrates, has been looking into the health benefits of various types of bread.

"One of the surprising things in our work is that whole-wheat products turned out to have the least healthy responses of all, and this is not what we expected," he said in an interview.

In the Olden Days, the only kind of bread in the shops was white bread. In fact, they didn't call it "white bread" because there wasn't any other kind. It was just "bread".

Then the hippies came along and took over the world and brainwashed everyone. One of the many things they told everyone was that brown food is the best food. If it was brown it was better. Especially, it was better than white food. (Except for yogurt. Even the stupid hippies knew not to eat brown yogurt.) So hippie kids all grew up thinking that brown bread was better. Brown rice was better.

When I went to pastry chef school, the instructor (not a hippie, but a normal person) had to tell everyone that brown eggs were exactly the same on the inside as white eggs and that the whole brown-egg-is-better thing was a big lie. Even so, he didn't manage to convince everyone.

But the truth always wins and I knew that everything the hippies said and did was a horrible evil lie. Maybe the world is starting to wake up from the terrible nightmare of the last forty years.

Probably not though.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I can't remember the details, but I read somewhere that somewhere in Ireland (during the Famine? maybe later, not sure), children were gvien wholewheat bread instead of their usual white. The wholewheat bread requires some extra resources to digest (can't remember what), and has slightly few calories than white....so it tiipped thise kids oevr into actual malnutrition.