Where can I find the kid who wrote this?

I want to adopt him.



If I'd known it were this easy to become an Evil Overlord, I'd have opened a nuke factory long ago.

H/T to Kathy, who can be my First Minion any day.

So, there's this club, see,

of people who want to be Evil Overlords. It's just an informal group, really people who want to, well...rule the world, live in an underground/orbiting lair of evil, enslave the human race, raise an army of clones/robots, abolish income tax...you know the sort of thing.

Heroes include Ming the Merciless, Emperor Palpatine, the Master, The Brain, Herbert von Karajan, Lex Luthor...

But it's not all fun and games and torturing/taunting ruggedly handsome heroes or building ultimate superweapons. It's real work.


Dr. Horrible relates the quotidian chores involved in getting to the top.

(If we voted for Evil Overlords, which of course, we don't, I'd totally vote for Joss Whedon.)

How to Improve the Roads, Drains and the Quality of Debate

I've decided to add something to my plan for world domination. I mentioned below that when Dave and Boris put me in charge of things in Cheshire, I would convert Liverpool into a vast re-education camp to try to teach certain groups of people things like the Laws of Rational Thought ("Repeat after me: you cannot both be in the room and not in the room at the same time") and how to cook traditional English food. They will be set to work making Liverpool a nicer place. The asphalt will be replaced with sandstone cobbles; all the houses will be equipped with gargoyles; every building put up in the last fifty years of the 20th century will be torn down and replaced with English Gothic churches and quadrangles...etc...

But one thing that I'm going to do that is very important and I think will catch on. I'm going to make sure that no one is allowed to speak in public unless he can do so in spontaneous iambic pentameter. I will put forward a bill in the House of Commons that no person may be elected to Parliament who cannot speak in rhymed heroic couplets.

This will improve nearly every aspect of British life and make Hansard much more interesting and fun to read.

Vote Saxon

Speaking of daydreams...


If only...

A slow smile flickered

evilly at the corners of her mouth as she read the morning news.

"Eeeehhhxcellent..." she murmured, reaching for a bell to summon her minion.

"Another cup of tea, please Ivan. And when you've got a moment, a turn or two more of the thumbscrews is due in room seven today I think. I feel like celebrating."

* ~ * ~ *

"Well well well..." she thought, raising a perfectly arched eyebrow, "How very interesting. I wonder which reporter has been sacked for leading with the headline: 'BNP poised for gains in the capital'".

...because the story had been removed from the Telegraph's website. A fragment only remained:

“The Far-Right is on course to make its biggest-ever electoral breakthrough in Britain this week, anti-fascist campaigners have admitted.

The British National Party has focused its efforts on winning a seat on the 25-member London Assembly, which would give it a national profile and a say in the running of the capital. Anti-fascist group Searchlight admits it will “require a Herculean feat” to stop the BNP from winning.

If the BNP succeeds, Richard Barnbrook will be catapulted to fame as the party’s first assembly member. He claims that “asylum seekers and illegal immigrants are engulfing London”, and his policies include banning the Islamic veil on public transport."

Settled

Perhaps I was just free-associating when I heard it, but the term Elizabethan Settlement, reminds me of a comment by the former Prime Minister of Canada, the thoroughly unmissed Jean Chretien, who told a group of school children at a Catholic high school during a campaign stop a few years ago, that abortion in Canada was a settled issue upon which Canada had found "social peace".

We tried not to let him forget the comment.

I find, BTW, that free association is a skill it is well to develop carefully for a blogger.

More on the Great and Wondrous Elizabethan Settlement later. Right now I have to put some oil on the slide down which Mr. Brown and Tony's Nu Labour party are sliding.

Every little bit helps.

In fact,

it's the best Evil Overlord theme music ever written. If you want to be an Evil Overlord, it's very important to get the right jingle writer.