But a question arises in my mind. If an entire country is complicit, an entire culture, as is the West, in the greatest systematic mass murder in the history of the human race, can there be any way for any of us to shield our minds from its effects?
Are we not all subject to the long-term damage caused by this impossible dilemma? We kill our children. We do it in enormous numbers. Those of us who do not participate in the killing are complicit by inaction. And everyone knows this.
Do we not all engage to some degree in one of the three reactions I outlined above? In each case the first instinct is to try not to think about it. When forced to address the issue, the most common response is the one least defensible: "I wouldn't have an abortion, but I can't force my opinion on others." A six-year old could tell you what is wrong with that, but most people will say it, and mean it, when they are confronted. I have found it is wise not to try to push past this by demolishing the logic of their position. Mayhem usually ensues.
I noted to a friend today, another Gen-X child of the hippie Culture-Wreckers:
Things continue fine but weird.
Every now and then, I am struck with one of those "What the hell am I doing here" moments. But, since those moments have been the defining characteristic of most of my life above the age of fifteen, I'm learning to ignore it.
I'm here. Life is weird. That is just how things are. Must get used to it.
I think the reason our parents never told us how weird and incomprehensible life was going to be is actually that it is much weirder now than it has ever been before. Their generation abolished all the rules and order of society. Naturally, they didn't notice this, and have carried on as if nothing has happened. But we have noticed because no one seems to know how we are supposed to live our lives.
I know there must be plenty of people out there who think this is a dandy situation and thrive on there being no rules and who say 'whoopee' and go off and do their own thing all their lives. But being a middle class Anglo means that I have a strong genetic predisposition to needing societal rules and day to day order...which no longer exists.
I'm glad, though, that I have finally discovered that my feeling weird all my life, as if things are not the way they are supposed to be, is not my fault. It's not me; it really is "society's fault" this time.