Saturday, January 12, 2008

Abolish Christmas Now!

While Christianity still survives in this country.

I had a few raised eyebrows just before the Holy Days when I posted a couple of notes calling for the complete abolition of Christmas. I didn't mean abolish Christmas shopping, Christmas decorations in shops, Christmas specials on television, all of which have done so much to make me loathe and dread the coming of the season.

I meant actually abolish any public mention or recognition of the feast once known as the Nativity of Our Lord. It must be made an offense, preferably a criminal offense, to hang a light, to put a decorated tree in your home, to send a card with a robin or a creche on it or sing a carol. The government, with the strongest measures at its disposal, must put an immediate end to the ringing of bells, the staging of pantomimes, the decorating of churches, Nativity plays, or anything related to the Christian celebration.

It is absolutely imperative, a matter of life and death, that Christmas be outlawed. I don't know if Western Civilization will survive another Merrie Yule Tide season if things are allowed to continue.

I meant it, and was not kidding nor fooling about. (Well, I might have been fooling about a wee bit, but not much, even as much as usual.)

But I'm surprised that those who wondered were wondering whether I meant it or why I had said it.

Why isn't the answer obvious?


Mark S. Abeln said...

Because our intellects are not quite as angelic as yours? Or maybe because we lack your sharp sense of humor?

Dr. Adam DeVille said...

I thought Christmas was once banned, at least north of the border: my Glaswegian granny told me that when she was growing up, Christmas was a regular working day in Scotland owing to the feast being a papist invention abominable in the eyes of Scots Calvinists.

If we can't ban it outright, why not do what the Armenians do and celebrate it together with Theophany on January 6th? Theophany, in fact, is more ancient; Christmas is a relatively more 'recent'' invention. Theophany gets shabby treatment in the West today, drowned under the treacly flood of bogus Christmas sentiment. I'd happily just celebrate it, and skip Christmas.

Anonymous said...

A: Yes, it was banned under Cromwell, I understand.

Mark: don't be silly.

Anonymous said...

Do I have to send the Christmas card you sent me back?

df said...

That last one came from me, but for some reason didn't pick up my ID

Hilary Jane Margaret White said...

All will be explained.

As soon as I feel like explaining it.