Friday, April 01, 2011

Wait, I've got a better idea

What if we just issue, at government expense, all pregnant women with a gun just before entering the delivery room. That way, if the baby is "unplanned," "unwanted," "unexpected" or just plain not up to standard, the woman can shoot it right away. It's a lot safer for the woman to kill the baby after birth. Better than dosing herself up with massive amounts of hormones or potentially lethal steroids.

They can give women a few lessons in quick dispatch in the hospitals so the body parts can be preserved for harvesting. A tissue team can be standing by, say, in the hallway outside, and when they hear the shot, they can come in and get whatever is on order for the day.

Everyone wins.

...

What?



~

12 comments:

Zach said...

Ah, I see you've got your fighty back. A good sign.

peace,
Zach

Sean M. Brooks said...

Hi, Hilary Jane!

Careful! The worshipers of Moloch, being liberals, have no sense of black humor or appreciation of sstire. They might take you all too literally and do exactly as you suggested so sardonically.

Your "humble suggestion" reminded me of Jonathan Swift's "Modest Proposal" about what to do with "surplus" Irish babies.

Sincerely, Sean

Anonymous said...

Most women, and in particular the more feminine ones, really don't like guns, perhaps excepting those from Texas. When they kill, they generally use poison.

Shooting the newborns isn't a sufficiently girly method.

Bart

Sean M. Brooks said...

Yo, Bart!

Hmmm, what would be a suitably "girly" method for the adorers of Moloch to use for murdering babies? Lethal injections or smothering with a pillow comes to mind!

Sincerely, Sean

Anonymous said...

Yo Sean!

How about lacing baby formula with a lethal dose of Daiquiris or some other sweet and colorful chick drink?

Does it get more feminine than lethal passive-aggression accompanied by lots of sugar and pastel colours?

Ever heard of the Bloody Mary? Or the anti-baby Margarita? Or the After Sex on the Beach?

Brat Bart

Anonymous said...

Sean,

There's more than one way you can kill a child with a dozen screwdrivers.


Bart

Sean M. Brooks said...

Yo, Bart!

Thanks for your comments! In this monstrous, infanticidal age we live in, I would not be at all surprised if some baby haters actually use alcohol to kill "inconvenient" babies. However, I've heard of women who simply DUMP new born babies into trash bins. Bah!

Sincerely, Sean

Anonymous said...

Yo, Sean!

your solution would probably work. Especially if you know when the compactor will come, and live in a noisy neighborhood..

Bart

HJW said...

I understand that in most abortion facilities, a common solution to a baby born alive in a "botched" abortion, was a bucket of water.

Sean M. Brooks said...

Yo, Bart!

The compactor bit is so gruesomely cruel I'm sure the idea of crushing babies alive sends thrills of ecstasy racing up the legs of the Moloch adorers!

Bah!

Sincerely, Sean

Anonymous said...

Their legs and those of hyper-Christian warmongers!

Death to babies and heathens!

Viva la muerte!

Barbara said...

I say go with the gun. Nothing like removing an "inconvenience" with a bang.

Plus there is the practical consideration of peserved body parts for harvesting.

Away with the "nice evil". Time to wake people up.