Facebook

I think Facebook was designed by clinically depressed people who are conflicted over their deep need to feel connected with their friends, but who can't actually stand to leave the house to see them.

...and who have long since fallen into the neurotic habit of referring to themselves in the third person...

Today on Facebook:

Hilary Jane Margaret White has long felt that there are internet spirits or "kami" who try to communicate with us through the word verification windows. Their messages are often obscure and cryptic, but I think it's like the Delphic Oracle: they need to be properly interpreted.

Hilary Jane Margaret White watched the John Carpenter version of The Thing last night, and was blown away by how cool and scary non-digital special effects used to be.

Hilary Jane Margaret White is wondering if I've had a stroke of something. Everything I've eaten and drunk today tastes bitter. Like licking an inner tube.

Hilary Jane Margaret White will be buying a second set of snorkel stuff after she moves into her new flat so friends can come and do it too.

Hilary Jane Margaret White 's new favouritest thing in the whole world is snorkeling. It's like flying above a magic world...amazing!

Hilary Jane Margaret White is taking her new snorkeling stuff to the beach today.