Friday, May 21, 2010

Dear Pope Benedict,

I hope you are well. I was so pleased to see you on Sunday, looking so happy and saying all those nice things to us. I had a lovely time, and waved a lot when you came out to see us. I hope you saw me.

I see that you have just had a visit from this nice old man from Kuwait, and that he gave you some lovely carpets.

I hope you don't think it impertinent, but I would like to ask you a favour. I wonder if you would give me one of those carpets for my new flat. I like living in Italy, but find many of the Italian ways of doing things foreign and strange. One of these is their insistence on freezing cold tiles and marble floors and never any carpets.

You may have noticed that when you get out of bed in the mornings, even in summer, the floors really hurt your feet with the cold. I don't know why Italians love ice cold floors, do you? You are from lovely Bavaria where things are more English, so I suppose you have noticed it too.

Anyway, I would really be grateful for a carpet for my new flat which has these ice-cold floors I mentioned, since I cannot afford a new carpet and you probably have lots. I would take very good care of it.

I hope you have a lovely week, and look forward to seeing you again soon.

Your friend,

PS: don't forget about the carpet. Thanks.

PPS: Oh, and I just love your beautiful white mozzetta. It really looks terrific on you.


Vicky Van said...

Oh, I do hope he sends you a carpet! I really do!
Or at least a note saying hi.

Mark S. Abeln said...

I like Oriental carpets, their complex patterns are interesting and beautiful. Funny thing, proper Romanesque and Gothic churches almost always have Oriental carpets, which undoubtably derives from the time of the Crusades.

Red carpeting is sometimes seen in fancy churches, but I suspect this comes from broad-church Anglicanism.

But hereabouts we often use cheap, thin wall-to-wall carpeting using synthetic fibers, which undoubtably derives from the heresy of Americanism.