Tuesday, May 06, 2008


This just came in to our complaints department today:

You are a disgrace to humankind and god herself. She will one day smite you for having such strong ignorance to your felllow mortals needs. (yes thats right you are no better than anyone else). If you cant trust a woman with a CHOICE how can you trust her with a BABY! What is wrong with you! Everytime you encourage someone to not abort you are encourage child molestation, child battery, illegal fostering, years of torment and anguish that a CHILD should not endure. You are dispicable. You are far worse for imposing your false and uneduacted beliefs on others. You will surely parish in the hellfire of madness the Lord will banish you to. Heaven is only for those who do NOT wish cruelty upon children. Shame on you.

How dreadful. I'm sure I had no idea that when we say "you can't kill people to solve your problems" what we were really saying was "please molest, beat and illegally foster your child". Semantics is always so confusing.

I was under the impression, however, that these Wiccagoddess people were sort of, well... against the patriarchal construct of the vengeful smiting kinds of gods.

But one thing they are definitely against: apostrophes.


Zach said...

Just feel the luuuuv and grooviness and fuzzy bunnies!

You should wish her a happy threefold return. :)


Anonymous said...

I am outraged. All in one paragraph we have

1. Missing apostrophes:

'mortals' 'cant'

2. Split infinitives

'to not abort'

3. Incorrect orthography:


4. Dangling prepositions:

'banish you to'

5. Jargon

'humankind' [in this particular case it is either feminist or psychologically-castrated-white-male-born-after-1980]

6. Mixed styles

'mortals' as a substantive adjective generally belongs to the poetic register; in prose it can be used for effect; its use here is unwarranted.

7. Unorthodox typography


8. Inappropriate use of the subjunctive

If a child 'should not endure' years of torment, are there cases when it could?

9. Then there is the faulty theology

'god herself'

10. Lack of conviction
Does not append her name to her opinion

11. Does not use the minimum amount of courtesy Western Civilization dictates when addressing even an enemy; I presume she is not a Christian who ought, in fact, to love them.

12. We would waste our time analyzing " Anonymous' " inability to argue her three claims rationally and her unique reliance on ad hominem attacks.

Folks.....I don't think it gets much worse than this: behold the naked and ignominious barbarity which Western Civilization painstakingly fought to eradicate over the course of 2500 years. The project has failed. This must be the end.

Anonymous said...

For some reason the phrase "parish in the hellfire of madness" makes me think of felt banners...

That said, it is amazing the way pro-abortionists think. To take it to its logical conclusion, they might just say "bad things happen during childhood. Therefore, no one should have to experience it, and everyone should be aborted." Which I suspect is close to what they secretly believe.