Wednesday, October 12, 2011

This is why I'm a conservative

Specifically, an eeeeeveel, small government, (anti-Distributist), warmongering, cut-taxes, anti-union, homophobic, misogynistic, anti-choice, social, fiscal and moral conservative... politically speaking that is.

Because conservatives are funny.
Never yet met the lefty capable of laughing at himself or who didn't fly into a rage when countered.

It's the unconquerable earnestness that gets me down. Oh, how well I remember those tones from my mother's feminazi friends in the 70s.

I once scared a priest friend of mine with my feminist impression. It's pretty easy to imitate. You just lower your tone and drop all facial expression, lower your chin an inch or two so you look like you're looking directly and "sincerely" into the person's eyes and making some really profound point, and say everything in a monotone and pause...between...every...word. Remember to nod slightly as you talk. The secret is never to smile. Earnestness is the watchword.

He jumped back in his seat and said it was just a little uncomfortably too close to the evil troll feminist anti-nuns who ran the show at his seminary. Yeah yeah, cry me a river. I was raised by the trolls.

And what is it with that bizarre chanting thing? Isn't there something about it that sounds familiar? Ooooooh yes...

"Yes! We are all individuals!"

The Dale Price law of Monty Python strikes again!



Liz said...

Excuse me Hillary, but why anti-distributist?

Hilary Jane Margaret White said...

Oh, just to annoy some friends of mine.

And because no one has ever been able to convince me that there is any practical difference between the government forcibly redistributing private wealth in communism and the government forcibly redistributing private wealth in distributism.

Teresa B. said...

My brother keep posting The Occupy Wall Street protests on FB.
He is totally into what they believe.
Doesn't see the issue with the non-logic of the protesters being interviewed.
They are allowed Free Speech but if you don't agree with them:
Shut the **** Up!
I don't think many of them really understand the various government systems.
They remind me of the Russians of 1917. Sooner or later you get a guy like Stalin in there. Slowly like the lobsters - they are boiled to death.
And what is with speaking your mind without profanities?? Does it help the cause?