Thursday, September 24, 2009

Twilight plot updates

Book 1

1) Edward Cullen is broody and really cute. Must be a vampire.

2) Bella falls for him and starts thinking how great it would be to be a vampire too.

3) Edward falls in love with Bella and broods.

4) Bella frets.

5) Some bad vampires show up and there is brief Conflict.

6) Conflict resolved with a brief flash of violence. Bella still not a vampire because Edward is too broody.

The end.

Book 2

1) An accident involving a paper cut makes Edward think it's time to go brood somewhere else.

2) Bella depressed.

3) Bella really depressed.

4) Bella really really really depressed.

5) Cute Jacob is nice to Bella. Completely fails to brood for at least a hundred pages.

6) Bella cheers up but thinks Jacob isn't as interesting on account of not being a vampire.

7) Jacob turns into werewolf and Bella reconsiders.

** 1st plot development ** - Vampires and werewolves are mortal enemies.

8) Figuring that girls like broody guys, Jacob tries out a new personality trait, and adds a dash of whineyness. Grows really tall and moderately handsome for a guy with a heartbeat.

9) Bella has hallucinations of Edward brooding over her new thrill-seeking extreme sports kick.

** 2nd plot development ** - there are bad vampires in Italy who rule the vampire world and get really mad when the humans find out about them.

9) Alice, Edward's nice vampire sister shows up, says Edward thinks she's died and they fly off to Italy to stop him from killing himself. Apparently, Edward has perfected his brooding technique.

10) Sorry Jacob.

11) Bella and Alice rescue Edward from some bad vampires in Italy.

The end.

Book 3 (a plot begins to form, and it only took a thousand pages! Woo!)

1) Bella extracts promise from Edward's dad, the nice doctor vampire, to make her a vampire after graduation. This makes Edward mad.

2) Jacob broods.

3) Bad vampire shows up and starts making little vampires in Seattle.

4) Bad vampires from Italy threaten to kill Bella if the Cullens don't turn her into a vampire.

5) Edward broods.

6) Jacob broods.

7) Bella frets.

I'll keep you updated on the riveting developments.

No comments: