Anatomy of Spin

A large part of what I do involves media analysis. I look at the ways the mainstream media (so called) presents the Church and her doctrines.

The last few weeks has been very interesting in that vein.

A cruise through the headlines makes for endless fun.

The Pope is dangerously wrong about condoms. This is because, you see, Condoms do not promote promiscuity, but because the Pope [is] Ignorant About AIDS, HIV numbers [are] at [a] record high (in New Zealand...because of course, he's banned them there too).

Now the world knows that John Paul II's condom ban worsened African AIDS crisis, (a stance that even followers disagree with).

This is because, naturally, the whole world, particularly in Africa, does everything the Pope says all the time. Cause, you know, the Pope rules the whole world. This means that the nice well-groomed men in London with HIV who want to bugger their sixteen year old boytoys would naturally never dream of using a condom now that the Pope has said they shouldn't.

Seriously, in Medialand, all this makes perfect sense.

Weeee luuuuuv yoo too!

Poles reporting JPII to be beatified next April, "because that's what the world is asking for".

Yah. It's asking for abortion, contraceptives, divorce, euthanasia and buggery too. I suppose the Vatican is right on those as well.

I'm going to be ill.

Meanwhile, Italy continues to feel the benefit of the glories of Jaypeetooweeluvyoo's 26 year reign.

Everybody just keep clapping...

Alive and well

Beautiful plumage...

'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The primate does not respond.)

C: I wish to make a complaint!

P: We're closin' for a peace march.

C: Never mind that, your grace. I wish to complain about this church wot I joined not half a century ago at this very parish.

P: Oh yes, the, uh, the Church in Europe...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

C: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, your grace. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

O: No, no, she's uh,...she's evolving.

C: Um...now look...now look, your grace, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That church is definitely deceased, and when I joined it not 'alf a decade ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged process of glorious renewal following the greatest oecumenical council in history.

O: Well, she's...he's, ah...probably pining for more inclusive dialog.

H/T to the Evil Vicar

Shock! Trendy Biblio-Archeological discovery a fake!

Whaddya know!

Harm Reduction

When you beat your wife, please make sure to wear the officially authorized prophylactic protective gear.

The Association of Compassionate Christian Caregivers today severely criticized traditional Catholic teaching on marital "love" and called upon the churches to encourage wife-beating Africans to take the "prudent, practical steps" to reduce the risk of HIV infection when assailing their spouses.

Scientists and other specialists in AIDS transmission are dismayed that Vatican ultra-conservatives continue to ignore their findings and insist that all persons -- even unlettered Angolans and even when HIV-negative -- refrain in all circumstances from acts of physical violence against their spouses.

"Preaching charity will NOT solve the problem!" says Osbourne. "We need to work with the reality of where these people are. These are Africans, for God's sake, not persons capable of understanding and following a moral norm. It is irresponsible of the Pope to teach otherwise."

Heh.

It's Friday: Listen to Joan Jett

San Giovanni in Santa Marinella

It was fun.

First there was a Rosary procession,

Catholic Italy! Lots of people in the procession and they sang beautifully.


A bishop


and a band


and a statue of St. Joseph carried on the shoulders of the local volunteer emergency services guys.

All attended by

flocks of nuns,


cubscouts,


and police in full dress uniforms.


Then while all the holy people went to Mass,


there was a street festival.


Corn!


Cotton candy!


Rides!


Bumper cars!


...weird stuff you only find at Italian street fairs...


Christopher forgot one of the cardinal rules of life: never eat anything bigger than your head.


St. Joseph, pray for us. Pray for Italy.

Thoughtcrime of the Day: The international AIDS Industry is trying to kill off the brown people with condoms

Who's going to win the global demographic sweepstakes, do you think?

Uganda

Median age:
total: 15 years
male: 14.9 years
female: 15.1 years (2008 est.)

Birth rate:
48.15 births/1,000 population (2008 est.)

Total fertility rate:
6.81 children born/woman (2008 est.)


France

Median age:
total: 39.4 years
male: 38 years
female: 40.9 years (2008 est.)

Birth rate:
12.73 births/1,000 population (2008 est.)

Total fertility rate:
1.98 children born/woman (2009 est.)

So, the rich white people from North America and Europe who run the world's AIDS/Population control industry are distributing condoms as fast as they can in the only countries in the world who are still having children.

That's Ms Loretta to you...

Haven't we finished mocking them yet?

I suppose there's really no limit to how much we can make fun of them.

Goody.

Being a Ms isn't always plain sailing - with the most mundane tasks often turned into an exhausting battle of principle.

For example, attempting to take out insurance, this conversation is likely to follow:

"Name?", "Jane Smith".

"Marital status?", "married". "Address Mrs Smith?".

"Actually I'm a Ms, Mrs Smith is my mother."

Momentary silence.

Then: "I'm sorry, if you're married you can only be a Mrs. The system won't allow another title."

Now that's cool!

An underwater volcano!

NUKU'ALOFA, Tonga – Scientists sailed Thursday to inspect an undersea volcano that has been erupting for days near Tonga — shooting smoke, steam and ash thousands of feet (meters) into the sky above the South Pacific ocean.

Authorities said Thursday the eruption does not pose any danger to islanders at this stage, and there have been no reports of fish or other animals being affected.

Spectacular columns are spewing out of the sea about 6 miles (10 kilometers) from the southwest coast off the main island of Tongatapu — an area where up to 36 undersea volcanoes are clustered, geologists said.

Trade winds continued to blow gas and steam away from the island Thursday.

How cool is that?!