Tuesday, June 30, 2009

"When the hell are we going to be able to move things with our thoughts!?"

Have to write about evolution today, and I have to say, as an ideological worldview, evolution has been pretty disappointing.

Where, for example, are my Jedi mind powers? Why do I have to keep getting up off the sofa to get another pop out of the fridge and a packet of biscuits while I'm spending my whole day off watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Why don't the damn biscuits just float across the room in answer to my will? I've been evolving at the same pace as everyone else.

But I'm sort of glad, actually, that evolution isn't working out. From all the reports I remember as a kid, evolution has some serious drawbacks. The whole cool things-floating-across-the-room part of evolution is all too quickly followed by the head-getting-really-big-and-bald part. That, of course, comes with an inexplicable but insatiable thirst for knowledge of particle physics and a desire to destroy and/or dominate the local villagers who invariably show up with pitchforks and grenades demanding to kill the monster.

Best just to give it a pass.

I think I'll just carry on being retrograde instead.


Anonymous said...

But you remember Captain Pike, don't you? The next step is to be able to control the collective imagination, and then no one needs to know about your big bald head.

john said...

Pike! sure, the guy in the wheely bin. I love that line he had in StarTrek: "Boop!"
I quote that often.
There is much wisdom there.

BillyHW said...

I just wish I could evolve beyond the need for this thrifty gene.