Thursday, June 25, 2009

And for my next trick...

I have just heard that the Canadian bishops, in their "God-given authority" can change external reality.

Stop looking at me like that. Of course I'm not kidding.

We have it from the president of the Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops himself, so you know it must be true.

Archbishop James Weisgerber, the President of the Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops has said, unequivocally, that there is "no evidence" that the groups that D&P is funding around the world are plumping to legalise abortion.

...Except for all the, you know,

evidence, an' stuff..

But Bishop Weisgerber wants to let us know that these so-called "facts" are just the machinations of "websites" who have no, ABSOLUTELY NO, authority in the Church to judge these matters.




How do they know this, I can hear you asking?

Well, it's because it's their Role In The Church, and when they've decided, according to Their Theology, that D&P isn't funding pro-abortion advocacy in Peru, Brazil, Mexico, etc, well, that's just that. They've judged it, see. According to their theology.

“That’s the role of the bishops in the Church and when the bishops investigate something, when the bishops look at things and when the bishops teach, according to our theology, we should have confidence in that.”

And for their next trick, they're going to use their God-given authority, according to Their Theology, to change the weather, sunspots and the phases of the moon.

“We can assure you that none of the money was spent to promote abortion, nor for support of abortion with the funds of Development and Peace.”
So there.
Don't you feel better? You've been "assured".

There are always problems when people trust the evidence before their eyes more than the God-given authority of the Bishops. That's been the problem in the Church for the last forty years.

“It seems that there is a tendency on the part of some people to trust allegations on websites more than they trust the bishops."

Can't imagine why.

And we've als been assured that the bishops know everything there is to know about where the (your) money is going. Have known in detail all along.

A spokesman for the CCCB, Wanda Potrykus,
"Any thing we allocate money to, we have written reports that have to be submitted showing how the money was spent and whether it was spent as it was intended."

There now. Stop worrying and back to the Spirituality of the Tree workshop.

And another damn thing...

We never said that D&P is obliged only to work with groups whose "values" we share.

"It is also very clear from the direction given by Pope John XXIII and by the (Second Vatican) Council that the church is to work with other people, but not, in a sense, blindly," he said. "We have to work with people whose values we are not necessarily in agreement with."

Sheesh. Get with the programme. It's the Time of the Laity. The New Springtime. The time of "opening" to the world, doncha know. Good Pope John said it, an' he was the Pope and everything.

And besides, Vatican II said so, so nyah.

Our annual Bucket and Spade award goes to Bishop W and the CCCB.

Keep digging that hole boys. You'll find the bottom eventually.


Felix said...

C'mon, Hilary. We've all known for decades that Bishops have magical spectacles that let them see an alternate reality.

Like the Church has been in disarray since the Great Leap Forward of Vatican II. Every statistical indicator showed this.

But the Bishops bleated on about the new springtime and how everything is just hunky-dory.

GOR said...


Missed that the first time around. Haven't heard that used since my days in Geordie-land many years ago! My favorite usage of it was that someone "knew owt 'bout nowt"

I'll be gannin along now...