Friday, August 28, 2015

How to ignore the outside world

Yep. I remember never having any money because I could never make it to the bank for their stupid "banking hours" which were like, noon to three pm every other day except weekends.(Also, I've always been irrationally afraid of banks. And the post office. I hate that stuff.) I remember when only a tiny fraction of the population, wealthy people, had credit cards, and if you ran out of cash on the weekend, you just had to spend the rest of the time doing free stuff. The park was nice. So was the beach. Free and fun.

These days, every time I wander around the house asking, "Where's my damn phone?!" I bring myself up and say, "What? 'Where's the phone?... 'Where's the phone'? What kind of question even is that?" Not that long ago you would have been thought insane. The answer was always the same: "It's attached to the wall where it always is... Are you demented?"

Lately I've been just leaving my phone off all the time. I like my phone because it can't get the innernet and because it's a flip phone that I bought because it looks just like Captain Kirk's phone, which is still cool to me. I sampled the Basilica's bells one day on a feast day and made that my alarm, so the Norcia bells ring for me when it's time for the Divine Office.

But just in the last couple of weeks, I've just been leaving it at home when I go out. I thought, wait, why would I want to talk on the phone while I'm out and doing things? That's a pain. And people phoning me? Yee! Who needs that? If people send me messages or call, my phone will tell me later... so I can ignore them more effectively. Like, on purpose instead of by accident.

So now basically I just use it as an answering machine. At some point, I think I might get some crazy glue and stick it to the wall in the kitchen, and my regression back to the mid-20th century will be complete.



Lynne said...

I wanted to click the "Like" button...

Fr PJM said...

He's the Steve Kojek of comedians.

Hilary Jane Margaret White said...