John C. Wright explains the Massachusetts Problem:
Look, it is merely a historical fact that since Maryland was colonized by Catholics, who brought nine barrels of Holy Water over the Atlantic from Rome, Seven Stars and Seven Stones and One White Tree (that can still be seen in Annapolis) whereas Massachusetts Bay was colonized by Puritans, who smashed out all the stained glass widows aboard the Mayflower, and removed the Holy Rood Screen, so that Massachusetts was therefore helpless before the devils summoned up by desperate Red Indian Medicine Men: to this day, Massachusetts has had a much more severe Vampire infestation problem than Maryland, not to mention the Deep Ones at Innsmouth, Witches in Salem, the Horror at Dunwich and the Joker incarcerated at Arkham.
Something everyone knows about Massachusetts. I mean seriously, look at the facts. Boston College. The Kennedys. The Boston Globe. The Paulists.
And Cthulu obviously has a summerhouse there.
~
H/T to Zach.
The Commonwealth! My hometown and youth. (Yes I'm from New York but that's for most of the last 22 years...NYC is my adopted home. I go back and forth to check in on the elders and to reassure them I still root for the Red Sox.) My former hometown parish church, intended for closure by the Archdiocese (some would say only to save money for payouts to the abused) -- is currently in its, I think, fifth or sixth year of 24-hour-a-day "vigil" by a local group that occupied the church "when a door was left unlocked"; they've been holding unapproved "communion services" and teatime, etc. while the Archdiocese spends millions to provide heat and light to the church building.
ReplyDeleteIt's ugly getting uglier. This by way of a great blogger from the Boston area:
http://throwthebumsoutin2010.blogspot.com/
"The Massachusetts Public Health Council unanimously voted this afternoon to approve new hospital licenses for Caritas Christi Health Care---the network of six Catholic medical institutions affiliated with the Archdiocese of Boston---as part of its sale to the Steward Healthcare System, a subsidiary of Cerberus Capital Management....."
No reader of the Picnic needs explanation about the name Cerberus.
Tom
"There were no reports of vampire attacks in the state of Maryland this year, except near the Beltway, of course, but that is under the jurisdiction of the Great God Dagon, Lord of the Dark Waters and the Lower Chesapeake, who is sacred to the creatures and Congressmen dwelling in the District of Columbia."
ReplyDeleteDear God -- please let me write like that someday...
Massachusetts is definitely Lovecraft Country.
ReplyDeleteMassachusetts Goddamn!
ReplyDeleteBut the Joker isn't in Massachussets. Arkham is in Gotham and Gotham is New York. And the vampire problem is mostly in little towns in Maine.
ReplyDeleteAnd the vampire problem is mostly in little towns in Maine.
ReplyDeleteMaine was originally part of Massachusetts, so that still counts.
I know for sure we had bats growing up.
ReplyDeleteTom
I venture a guess that Cthulu's summerhouse is definitely in my native Western Massachusetts, where Wall Street summers, and where holier-than-thou prigs indoctrinate the upper middle class into bobo-in-paradise respectability. Not one trad parish out here, but more self-righteous church ladies (of both lib-Cath and lib-Prot persuasions) than you can shake a stick at. It's kind of sad, as this is very beautiful countryside...
ReplyDeleteHowever, this is only a guess; I've never actually seen Cthulu.