I call it the "Sound of Thunder" game.
Everyone will know the general gist: you meet someone with a time machine who says you can go back in time and kill one person in order to change, and hopefully improve, the course of history.
So, tell who you would pick and the rest of us get to guess why and how the course of history would be improved/changed.
Less violent variant, for those with delicate sensibilities, is to go back in time and give a single piece of information to a single person. Who would you pick, and what would you tell him?
I'll go first.
My first pick to shoot, would be William of Ockham.
Second pick would be Henry V of England while he was on campaign in France. And I would tell him, "Buddy, boil your water for ten minutes before you drink it."
OK, now you.
~
O.k., how about
ReplyDelete- to shoot: Adolf Schicklgruber (a.k.a. Hitler) - not very original, one knows, but necessary, for an Austrian
- to tell something to: Leo X, before he started the indulgence sales campaign in Germany: "Holiness, not everything that can be done should be done!"
Zwetschgenkrampus
To Arthur, Prince of Wales - find a good doctor.
ReplyDeleteI'd find young Edgar Allan Poe and try to convince him to never start drinking and I'd try to convice Rose Fitzgerad not to marry Joseph Kennedy.
ReplyDeleteTo William of Ockham: Beware someone or something white.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteTo sleep with the fishes Margaret Sanger.
To advise Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and The Big Bopper not to get on that plane.
Sinéad
To shoot:
ReplyDeleteArchbishop Annibale Bugnini
To advise:
Pope John XXIII: "Holy Father, are you QUITE sure that's the voice of the Holy Ghost telling you to summon a General Council?"
Instead of killing him, can I have the illiterate camel trader exiled to Rome? Maybe give him some shade trees, clean water, and a solid classical education.
ReplyDeleteTo Henry VIII: your dad was more than a bit of a jerk, and anyway who's king now? Mary will do fine.
I would tell Emperor Charles I (Austria- Hungary) not to quit his conquest of Budapest.
ReplyDeleteAdvice to Henry V: Yankee go home (you have no business invading France). Also, don't marry the retarded French girl with the deranged father. If you don't heed this warning a teenage girl will kick your mentally-defective son's derriere, your family will go kaput within a generation and all the fish will die.
ReplyDeleteFiring squad list: Too many deserving candidates to settle on a single winner. Let's make it like the Special Olympics!
All very interesting and amusing answers. Good work, minions.
ReplyDeleteI think Sinead wins though, in both categories.
And what's the thing about Henry V and the fish?
Once upon a time, Henry V embodied all the virtues of medieval kingship but he had an all-consuming ambition to rule France. He died a conqueror, but his victory proved costly in the long run.
ReplyDeleteAfter his conquest of France, Henry married Catherine of Valois (the psychotic French king’s daughter) and she passed on her family's genetic burden to poor Henry VI. Henry V died while campaigning to consolidate his hold on France. Catherine promptly hooked up with an Owen Tudor (who probably had more tattoos than teeth) and gave birth to a large illegitimate brood that lived off Henry VI (the earliest documented case of a welfare mom). Meanwhile, in France a teenaged peasant girl led the eviction of the English. This was a sign from Heaven that Henry V’s invasion didn’t quite meet the criteria for a just war. England promptly lost even her ancient continental possessions.
Back at home, Henry VI's mental breakdown led to the Wars of the Roses and the eventual suicide of the dynasty. Henry Tudor (from Catherine’s brood) weaseled his way to the crown and in turn, his son Henry VIII led England into schism and heresy. This tipped the world’s balance of power in favor of Protestantism and revolt, and (several revolutions later) the present mess we’re in.
Happy stories end with “and they lived happily ever after”. This is a gigantic disaster story, hence the ending: “…and all the fish died”.
To smite: Otto von Bismarck
ReplyDeleteTo warn: I'd put together a DVD tour of mainline and Evangelical Protestantism with all their bastard children (Catholic Modernists included) and make Martin Luther watch it 20 times in a row.
"and make Martin Luther watch it 20 times in a row."
ReplyDeleteOk, this one definitely wins.
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ReplyDeleteWishing something on Woodrow Wilson, a fate to match that priggish expression on his face. Perhaps a lethal case of binding and impaction.
ReplyDelete