Because I felt like it, that's why

Yes, we're back. As you can see, I've made a few cosmetic changes, and I'm going to be doing things slightly differently here, I hope.

Thanks to all the people who wrote asking to be allowed in during the refurbishment. If any of you feel inclined, you can just keep sending those "Oh Hilary you're so cool and smart, I want to join your club" emails, those were just great.

Truthfully, things haven't really been going well in the personal realm lately, so I am trying (yes, again) to effect a kind of re-focus. I thought a change would be as good as a rest, and in this case if the change means spending less time looking at the end of the world, and more time looking at the flowers and insects and birds and architecture and whatnot, that would be as good as a rest-cure.

I'm also taking a lot of B vitamins, and riding around a lot on my bike. The famous Tony Gray "Green Vegetables and Exercise" regimen that cures everything.

I realise that a lot of people who come here do so because of my uniquely acerbic take on the End of the World and All Good Things, but you're just going to have to go get your weird jollies elsewhere. This is a happy-place now, so bugger off.

You can see that I've trimmed down the sidebar links and labels, and added one that I think will become increasingly important, more on which in a bit.

I think I've found something really important that I didn't know about before. I've discovered something amazing about drawing. It shuts off the chattering part of your brain. It's a real left-brain verbal slap-down. Like someone has thrown a switch and shut off something noisy and irritating - like a top-40 radio station - that you were so resigned to, you hardly noticed any more how miserable it was making you. Seriously, drawing: it's better than any drug. Try it when you can't get your brain to shut up and let you get a word in edgewise.

So, there's going to be more on this drawing business; art and art theory, the revival of traditional, classical or academic styles, atelier methods, etc... that I've spent the last week or so reading about while I wasn't here saying clever things.

I'll level with y'all: depression, the actual clinical, not-enough-serotonin, anhedonic-no-fun-allowed-here, sleep-disturbanced, mood affective disorder has reached the "highly symptomatic" stage, and I just can't stand to look at the disasters so much these days. At least, not outside of working hours. (And before anyone gets started, due to a pre-existing condition, I'm contraindicated for the drugs, so just forget it. And for anyone who can't resist the urge to offer sympathy, advice, suggestions or commiseration - particularly in the form of their own stories - I'm sure there's someone out there you can talk to in real life, isn't there?)

So, anyway, I'm hoping this will be the new, warmer, fuzzier, friendlier O's P.

More pics. More art. More beautiful music. More laughs. More Italy (the nice bits). Maybe even more religion, though I'm a bit off it lately.

Generally more stuff that is not calculated to make me want to stay in bed all day with the blinds down and the covers over my head.

The apocalypse will just have to get on without me for a while.

I'm sure it will manage.