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Thursday, August 28, 2008

All things rude and nasty, the Lord God made the lot

Ten miles an hour?!

Anyone remember that very silly movie with Robin Williams about the afterlife?

Guy dies and his wife commits suicide. He gets to...well, not really heaven, but anyway, the gnostic afterlife I guess, and he wants to go rescue his wife from hell.

He gets to hell and it's more or less like the Greek afterlife and his wife barely remembers him, but she is plagued with spiders that crawl around and are all over the place.

To me, that's definitely hell.

Spiders = hell.

Don't click this link if you don't like pictures of big spiders.
Found in desert regions, camel spiders can grow up to 6ins and reach speeds of up to 10mph, making them devils to catch.

[The family] are now refusing to return to the property until the killer spider is captured by the RSPCA.


I should bloody well say so!

Every time I learn something more about Afghanistan, I'm convinced that it is somewhere no one would or should want to live.

All together now...

All things dull and ugly, all creatures short and squat
All things rude and nasty, the Lord God made the lot
Each little snake that poisons, each little wasp that stings
He made their brutish venom, He made their horrid wings

All things sick and cancerous, all evil great and small
All things foul and dangerous, the Lord God made them all
Each nasty little hornet, each beastly little squid
Who made the spiky urchin? Who made the shark? He did

All things scabbed and ulcerous, all pox both great and small
Putrid, foul and gangrenous, the Lord God made them all

4 comments:

  1. Anonymous5:05 pm

    I think you've pinpointed the one good thing about living in Canada. Our pests are pussies compared to those in the rest of the world.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I take it you've never seen the movie "Eight-legged freaks". A modern classic.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous12:19 am

    Capture it!? I say smash it with a brick.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Billy,

    so says a man who has never lived in Canada's arctic.

    ReplyDelete

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