Wednesday, July 31, 2013

How to be a jerk

Attention, Italy. I'd just like to clear up a few things:

You're acting like a jerk if you stop in the middle of the sidewalk and just stand there when there are dozens, or hundreds, of people trying to get by. You're acting like a jerk if you are getting off a train or a bus and you get as far as the doorway and then just stand there, looking through your purse or typing into your phone (Are you a cat? are you looking around waiting to see if it's safe? There are 500 people behind you trying to get home. MOVE!).

You're acting like a jerk when you butt in front of someone in a queue. You're acting like a jerk if you leave your car/motorino parked in such a way as to block handicapped/wheelchair access, box in other parked cars, take up two parking spaces or are parked ON THE FRIGGING SIDEWALK.

You're acting like a jerk when you demand exact or extra change from every customer who buys something in your store (It's your JOB to go get change and maintain an adequate float). You're acting like a jerk when you shove your way onto a crowded bus before letting other passengers off.

Let me explain a basic concept of civilisation: you're not supposed to not give a %#@! about the needs or comfort of anyone or everyone around you. Generally, you're acting like a jerk if you act as though you live in a little bubble-universe all your own and there is no one else in existence.

...

Oh, and when there is functioning air conditioning in a train compartment, you CAN'T MAKE IT WORK BETTER BY OPENING A WINDOW!!

Mkay?

(Oooooo, I could go on...)






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6 comments:

Teresa B. said...

I honestly did not know that brussel sprouts when reheated in the microwave blow up! What a mess!

Though I rarely go into TO - I know that we would step aside and let people off a subway car before we go on and have had others go around us and push their way into the car before those exiting. UGH!

Anonymous said...

The first time I visited Italy, I was ready to shoot every Roman I met after being there for four weeks. They really can be appalling. But now I just try and laugh at their absurd behaviour. And sometimes I just push in...

(the thing about the change is caused by a shortage in coinage)

Lydia

Hilary Jane Margaret White said...

I'm told by Italians that the Romans are the worst. And in exactly the same way as the Torontonians are the worst in Canada.

They think the universe revolves around them, and have no idea that everyone in the rest of the country hates their guts.

Teresa B. said...

That's why I tell people I was born in Mississauga! :)

Anonymous said...

Strange, that must be a disease communicated to citizens of capitals: You seem to have described some instances of the behaviour ascribed to the denizens of Vienna - ascribed, that is, by the rest of Austria ...

Zwetschgenkrampus

Hilary Jane Margaret White said...

Except that Ottawa is the capital of Canada, not Toronto.