Only the real counts.
Never trust anything Catholic that is less than 500 years old.
Abolish everything. (Catholic)
Never join anything. (Catholic)
Never found, start, organise or volunteer for anything. (General)
Abolish Christmas. (General)
When you can no longer resist the urge to kill someone, always kill someone else, never yourself.
(Perhaps paradoxically) You can't kill people to solve your problems.
If you can't get out of it, get into it.
Reality is conservative. (Thanks Mrs. Thatcher)
No temptation is so great that it can't be resisted by running away.
Old things are better than new things.
Contrary to what everyone thinks, it actually is sometimes too late.