"When the council chose to put us here we did not say no. If someone gave you a lottery jackpot would you leave it?...... and make me a cup of tea, while you're at it, will you Jeeves?
He added: 'The property had been refurbished before we arrived, but there were certain aspects that I was not happy with so I phone up the council and it sent people to fix the drive and clean up the garden.'"
Working is obviously for chumps.
Mother-of-seven Toorpakai Saiedi, 35, receives £170,000 a year in benefits - a staggering £150,000 of which is paid to a private landlord for the rent of their seven-bedroom house in West London.
The detached property in Acton has two large reception rooms, two kitchens, a dining room and a 100ft garden.
Ealing Council is picking up the £12,458 a month bill - which is nearly five times the rent for a similar property in the same road.
I was saying to my uncle the other day that now that we have IVF paid for by the NHS, and are soon to have a law that says you can
Just walk up to the nearest IVF baby factory, get signed on and you're set for life.
(Too bad about that whole spending-eternity-in-hell thing.)