A white person is a defacto racist.
That this constitutes racism is an observation lost on our "censorious liberal thought police", who are "always on the lookout for new victims to persecute, harass, and vilify".
I refer to the case of Jamie Bauld, a young fellow with Down's Syndrome with the "mental age of a five year-old" who pushed another child. Adverts were placed in local newspapers asking for witnesses to this "racially motivated assault". The other child, you see, was "Asian" (as the British press insists on labeling everyone from Morocco to Kazakhstan to Bangladesh).
"...the eminently sensible gentlemen of the police force decided that it was worth their while to get involved, and questioned Jamie, prior to charging him with assault. According to his mother, Jamie did not understand the questions that the police were asking him, and simply agreed with every accusation put to him, out of a desire to please his interrogators. She adds that, like many children, he does not actually notice racial differences."
But, don't you see? Jamie is white. Nothing else is required.
The police and prosecutors later apologised to Jamie's family.
So that's OK then.
I understand that Irishness is a designated victim category. My mum kept "Doloughan". The only thing is, no one can spell it.