I know, I know; I've been remiss. I've got plenty of excuses - plenty believe me - but I'm not going to give them now.
Right now, I've got a bee in my bonnet.
I want to go to the reactionary social event of the year, to wit: the EU Referendum rally in London on the 27th that everyone is talking about.
All the cool kids will be there, and I want to go too.
But here's the rub: I'm broke and require alms. Or, at least, not alms exactly, (I'm in no immediate danger of having to apply to the local parish for food relief) but a lift.
I've just moved to another country, you see. To this one, I mean, from a completely different one, and I've spent all the spare dosh I had stashed way on making the change. So I can't afford another there-and-back-again-in-one-day trip to London and am putting out a call for transport assistance.
I can throw in (modestly) for petrol (hee hee, listen to me being all English! "petrol"! haw!) and provide witty banter and amusing anecdotes about Canadian and American politics.
We can play rousing games along the way of "Who's the most right-wing?" and "spot the sheep".
I also do a fair imitation of Her Majesty addressing Parliament.
So, anyone heading down from the Norff for a jolly day of speeches, bun-chucking and heckling Parliamentarians with an extra seat in the van? I'm deep in the heart of beautiful rural Cheshire, close to Chester.
Seriously, not making it up.
Leave a note in the box, or email me.